The Next Generation Show: Naruto
by Ray by Another Name
Summary: A talkshow like thing for the children of Naruto characters. First chapter is rewritten, second and third posted. R&R. Complete!
1. The New Team Seven

A talkshow thing I did when I was bored, the first chapter has been rewritten.

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"Lights!" Cameras!" a directors voice calld throughout the haze of darkness on the set, "Action!" Bright lights spotlighted an apparently empty chair. Looking closer one could see the shaking ball of fabric that blended into the chair.

"The lights are too bright, damn it!" the ball of fabric yelled at the director, who signaled the lighting guys to turn them down. As the lights dimmed a head popped out of the fabric. Dark eyes glared at the director through chunk black glasses, "Told you so!"

There was the sound of a head meeting a hand as the ball of fabric, now revealed to be a teenage girl with a hooded sweatshirt, unraveled itself. The girl move around in the chair getting comfortable, confusing the audience before her.

"Now, then. To begin," The girl said matter-of-factly, "Welcome to the Next Generation Show!" A neon sign came to life behind her with the words 'Naruto Edition' flashing. The girl once more glared at the director, lifting her hood up, "Are you trying to give me a seizure?" The sign immediately turned off and the girl lowered her hood, "I am your host, Ray!"

There was a scattering of applause at first. And then Ray set her eyes on the audience like a knife and they erupted in applause. She nodded in approval and smiled, letting them go on for a mere minute before silencing them with a narrow look. It was apparent that the girl was quite sensitive to light and sound, the audience found this strange given what she was doing.

"Our first guests will be none other than the newest team seven!" Ray announced, giving a flourish with her hands to the side of the stage where three fifteen years old walked on stage. The two girls elbowed each other trying to be in the center of spotlight that was shining on them. The only boy was shaking his head as he walked around them and took a seat.

Eventually the girls followed, glaring menacingly at each other as they took the two remaining seats. Sadly, the seats were next to each other.

"So…why don't you three introduce yourselves? Tell us a little about who you are, ranks, et cetera…" Ray asked cheerfully, eyeing the two girls with a sparkle in her eye like she could not wait for them to start fighting.

"I'll start," the boy sighed, flicking his pink hair out of his green eyes, "My name is Haruno Saru. I'm the eldest son of Haruno Sakura and the only known child of Uchiha Sasuke." The last part had Ray raising an eyebrow, and Saru quickly added, before Ray could ask, "They weren't married, he's dead. My mother later married and had children with another man."

"Oh…" Ray and the audience murmured together in understanding. Ray's eyes flashed suddenly and then she smirked, "What man did Sakura marry?"

Saru grumbled, glaring at Ray as he folded his arms. It was obvious that he did not want to answer. So his teammates did it for him, simultaneously they spoke, "Rock Lee."

Ray's grin grew like only the Grinch had ever managed before, "Interesting, and how many siblings do you have Saru?"

"Three."

"Boys? Girls?"

"Two boys and a girl."

Ray sighed, knowing she could not get any of the information she wanted, "So what rank are you?"

"I recently took the Chunin exam, the last part is next week," Saru explained calmly, happy with the change of topic.

A finger pushed Ray's glasses up as her eyes turned to the two girls, "And who might you lovely ladies be?" A snort came from Saru when he heard the term 'lovely ladies' being applied to his teammates, lucky for him – they did not hear it.

"I'm Uzumaki Hina!" the first one said, stating what many already knew to be true. After all, with her long blonde hair tied in pigtails and her blue eyes it was hard not to tell who her father was. Not to mention she was wearing a very familiar stle of jumpsuit. "My parents are the 6th Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto, and the Hyuuga heiress, Hyuuga Hinata. I'm currently still a genin, but once I kick Saru's ass in the final I'll become a chunin." Hina, it seemed, was just as much a ball of energy as her father.

"And I am the _amazing_ Nara Inora," the second girl introduced herself dramatically, gesturing to herself like she was a prize on a game show. Her blond hair was loose just below her shoulders, her long bangs framing her soft face. Her dark eyes were the color of chocolate and she wore a familiar shade of green with her white headband tied around her waist. "The daughter of Nara Shikamaru and his wife Ino."

Ray nodded gleefully, an idea forming, "Who would you each consider your rival?" Almost immediately the girls were glaring at each other, and Saru was raising an eyebrow at Ray.

"I'm out of here," Saru grumbled as he stood, walking off the stage haughtily. Ray made faces behind his back as he went, much to the amusement of his teammates and the audience. And then, as if on cue, a girl with dark hair tied into twin buns fell into Saru's seat.

"Nice show," the new girl told Ray, grinning at her, "I'm Hyuuga Elevine." The girl had the traditional Hyuuga white eyes and wore a white Chinese top with black pants – just to distinguish herself from the other thousand or so Hyuuga members.

"Eh?" Ray muttered in confusion, "What are you doing here?" Looking up from where the Elevine had come from she added, "You didn't break my studio did you?"

"No, no, of course not," Elevine waved off the concern and then turned to look at Hina and Inora, "You two didn't tell her the most important fact about yourselves, so I have decided to do it for you." The fifteen year olds paled, looked at each for a second, and then lunged for the sixteen year old Hyuuga. She jumped up and then landed gracefully on Ray's armrest.

"Do tell, Elevine," Ray's glasses shined as she adjusted them with a malicious smile, "And not just about them, tell us about yourself as well."

"Hmm? Well, I'm Hina's cousin. Neji and TenTen's daughter if it wasn't obvious. Chunin, youngest of two children," Elevine listed nonchalantly, avoiding attacks from the two genins as she went, "My brother is a bore. And Uzumaki Hina and Nara Inora are betrothed."

For a second, crickets chirped, and Ray looked like she may just fall out of her chair in surprise. As she recovered from shock the two genins froze awkwardly as the camera zoomed in on them. Inora blushed profusely and Hina tried to hide behind her…fiancée…

"So…you two are…" Ray began, piecing it together as she surprised a Cheshire Cat grin. Elevine was right there nodding, an identical grin on her face. "How did that happen?" Ray asked Elevine excitedly, hanging on the girl's every word now.

"Two words: Lady Tsunade." Elevine declared, sticking her tongue out at her cousin, "Everyone thought that Hina would be perfect for the Nara boy. Too bad he turned out to be Inora."

"This…is awesome!" Ray giggled, drawing confused eyes. She pulled a laptop from underneath her seat cushion and started typing like crazy. "The fanfiction!" Ray laughed evilly, muttering to herself, "Zai will find this hilarious."

The three ninjas looked at her like she was insane, backing off the stage slowly. And the camera zoomed in on the host as the director coughed not-so-subtly.

"Oh…" Ray said, looking at the camera like it had just gotten there, "That's all for now. See ya next time!" And the lights dimmed to black to the sound of Ray's keystrokes.

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	2. The Older Siblings

Continuation: Meet the Older Siblings! With a surprise appearance and emergency ending! Enjoy!

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The lights go up…the ominous music plays… And in the center of the stage sits a lone figure. Eyes searching the room diabolically for their next victim.

Suddenly… the figure grins and stands. With a tilt of her head and a shine to her glasses, she speaks.

"Welcome…" her voice starts our mysteriously, and then turns chipper, "To the Next Generation Show!"

A sign pops up behind her and in orange lettering it says: Naruto Edition!

The figure, now revealed to be a blond haired woman with golden glasses and mischievous eyes, sits down again. She smiles at the audience, sending shutters down their backs.

"Today, we will be talking to three of the future ninjas of Konoha," our announcer explains, "And I'll be asking them _all_ about the inner works of the village, _the great and amazing Shikamaru,_ and of course what's going on in the village now!"

The crowd cheers! And our host snaps her fingers. Immediately a hush goes over the room, "I'm your host: Ray!" and looking at the crowd she glares, "_And I dislike excessive amounts of noise…_" A cricket chirpers, and Ray's eyes look to the ground were the idiotic bug sits.

Her eye twitches, the audience leans back, expecting the worst. And the bug smartly hops away as quickly as it could. Ray nods her head triumphantly before turning back to the cameras.

"Let's begin!" She looks at her notes, "First up, we have Nara Yoshi!" The crowd cheers quietly as an athletic seventeen-year-old steps out onto the stage. Her short black hair flows around her cheerful face in layers, accenting her crystal blue eyes.

She's curvy, although not overly so, and lean from training. Silver earrings shine in the spotlight and her ninja garb is the same Nara green her father use to wear. Yoshi sticks her tongue out at the crowd as she takes her seat next to the host.

"Welcome, Yoshi," Ray greets her happily, "Why don't you tell us a little about yourself and your family. We met your sister Inora last time, how are things with her?"

"Not a problem!" Yoshi grins evilly, "I'm the eldest of the three Nara kids. Inora is by little sister, and we have a baby brother I call Shink. Inora has apparently given in to romantic feelings for Hina because I found them rolling around on the ground the other day."

"We were fighting, damn it!" A voice called from off the stage, a purple shoe flying towards the amused looking Yoshi.

"Whatever you say, sis!" Yoshi called back, a small chuckle escaping her lips. Yoshi waved off the shoe that fell in front of her and continued, "I'm a jounin, I use mostly shadow jutsu and I'm a pretty good strategist. Not on the same level as my dad of course, but I don't have his intelligence either. Just a bit above average for me."

"That must be frustrating, given that Inora has a rather high IQ. Any sibling rivalry there?" Ray prodded, sadistically hoping for a sisterly 'duel-to-the-death.'

"Nah, I actually do stuff with my average intelligence, she wastes her IQ points on girly magazines and lesbian porn watching," Yoshi grinned viciously, her eyes directed towards someone off stage. Another purple shoe flew the air, aimed at Yoshi's head.

Yoshi caught it easily enough, adding, "And her anger at me saying such means that I'm right!"

Ray cleared her throat, trying to hide her giggling, "Well, what about you? Any romance in your life?"

"No," Yoshi crossed her arms in annoyance, ignoring the voluptuous blond that walked out on stage then.

"Yes!" Inora's grin was almost an exact replica of the one her sister had had only a few seconds ago. Inora was almost a carbon copy of her mother, except the dark eyes she'd gotten from her father. She wore a simple purple dress that day, and she grabbed her shoes from the floor before sitting on the armrest of her sister's chair.

Ray arched an eyebrow at the blond, waiting for more information. Yoshi's left eye and hand began to twitch angrily.

"Sarutobi," Inora smirked, eyeing her sister triumphantly. Dodging the hands that lunged for her throat, she just doesn't want dad to find out she's dating his favorite student!"

"You are SO dead!" Yoshi growled out as she chased her sister around the stage.

"Asu and Yoshi sitting in a tree!" Inora began to sing off-key, dancing around her sister's jutsu with ease.

Ray sat in her seat, watching the fight with amusement. Eating popcorn that had been handed to her by one of her assistants. The audience and Ray collectively sighed n disappointment as the Nara sisters took their fight off camera.

"I guess we should move on to our next ninja," Ray said in boredom, her head circling around to the stage entrance, "Hyuuga Hikaru."

A scattering of applause welcomed the dark haired Hyuuga boy. He walked on the stage in a grey kimono that matched his byakugan. In all honesty he seemed rather uncaring about the lack-luster greeting.

"Hello," Hikaru greeted calmly, his voice as full of boredom as Ray's was. It became glaringly obvious that while his younger sister Elevine was a lot like their mother, he was like his father.

"Alright," Ray flipped through her note cards and droned out the questions she had for him, "Tell us a little about you and your teammates, the Hyuuga family, etc."

"Alright, myself and my teammates – Sarutobi Asu and Hataki Anzu – are high-level ninjas. We're often sent on S-ranked mission with our old sensei Nara Shikamaru," Hikaru began, blushing slightly when he said Anzu's name. Something that did not go unseen by our host.

"And Anzu and you? Dating?" Ray grinned, seeing the red rise to the Hyuuga's face. When he refused to answer she pouted, "Fine… So is there any truth to what Inora said about Asu and Yoshi?" Once more the Hyuuga remained silent, refusing to answer. Ray narrowed her eyes threateningly, "Then tell us about the Hyuuga Clan."

"Hiashi-sama stepped down as the head last year, leaving the position to his eldest daughter, Hinata-sama. She herself has three children with the Hokag: Uzumaki Minato, Hina, and Kiashi. You met Hina, she's the calm child…" At Hikaru's last words Ray visible paled.

Ray turned to the side of the stage and yelled towards her assistants, "Make a note not to invite the other two Uzumaki kids to later shows!" She turned back to Hikaru and cleared her throat, "So what about you, any other siblings besides Elevine?"

"No."

"Stop that."

"No."

"It's annoying."

"I know."

"I guess it's more than a 'hn' like your father was fond of."

"Hn."

Ray's eyes began to twitch simultaneously, but before she could react properly one of her assistants rushed up to her to whisper in her ear. The blond host's eyes went wide and she visibly began to sweat.

"Time for you to go, Hikaru!" Ray announced nervously, and turning to the cameras, "We have to end the show early today due to the impending doom that is the three Uzumaki children. See you later!"

The lights went dark just as a shout of "Datteboyo!" was echoed in three cheerful voices. The sound of a crumbling wall and Ray's angry screech of "Quiet!" had the audience rushing towards the exits.

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Review?


	3. The Sand Cousins

I think this is the last chapter for this one. Its a little shorter than the others because, well the Sand ninjas are just not as dramatic.

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"Welcome back to the Next Generation Show!" Ray greeted the audience as she turned around in her swivel chair. In her lap was a black cat that she was petting. People finally made the connection between her and Doctor Evil, no wonder she was so strange…

A sign at the bottom of the stage buzzed to life and in neon lights the letters written spelled 'Naruto Edition.' Ray smiled at the applauding audience, showing no initiative to tell them to stop. When they finally stopped from boredom she pulled her ear plugs out.

"Now then…" Ray began, tucking her ear plugs into their case, "Today we will meet some ninjas from the village of Suna!" Applause erupted once more, making Ray jump and cup her ears to block out the sound. This startled the cat and it slunk away with a hiss towards the audience. Ray glared daggers at the audience for only a second before clearing her throat, "You guess it guys, we will be meeting the children of the Sand Siblings."

She gestured to the side of the stage and called out their names one by one.

"Gaara's lovely daughter, Maaya!" A red headed girl with kind eyes stepped out and waved at the crowd. She was voluptuous and petit, wearing a form-fitting pink kimono with a red head band tied around her arm.

"Kankuro's son, Kenny!" A brunette man came out, wearing the regulation Suna uniform with his headband tied around his eyes. He was large, with an intimidating stance and a scar along his open neck.

"Temari's daughter, Tsume!" A blond girl with red face paint came out; she too wore the Suna uniform – with slight modifications to make it more feminine. Two headbands were tied on her arms, one on each. The left was a leaf headband, the right was sand. A dog sat at her feet, eyeing the audience suspiciously before following Tsume and her cousins to their seats.

Maaya was the first to speak, "Hello everyone!" The cheerful girl seemed to smile more than she blinked, which was greatly annoying Ray.

"So…" Tsume said awkwardly, waiting for a question in boredom.

"So," Ray mocked, "Would each of you tell us about your abilities, background, and ranks?"

"Of course!" Maaya jumped in giddily, not noticing the way Ray's hand twitched. "I like to use wind techniques, I am an only child – my mother died in childbirth, and I am a genin. I am much younger than my cousins here at only thirteen."

Kenny scoffed, "You forgot to mention your strongest attack, talking your enemy's ear off until they commit suicide." Tsume smirked at the joke, but Maaya merely waved him and rolled her eyes.

"You have the strangest sense of humor, cousin," Maaya told him with a smile.

"He wasn't joking," A muttered voice said, no one quite sure whether it came from Tsume or Ray.

"Anyway…" Kenny quickly changed the subject gruffly, "I use various techniques, I have no desire to tell you what they are. I'm not telling you anything personal, and I'm a jounin."

Ray narrowed her eyes at Kenny, "I don't like you anymore…"

"Good."

"Good!"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Stop that…"

"Stop that!"

"Tsume!"

"Tsume?"

By that time Tsume was on the floor, laughing. Her dog tilting its head at her like she was an idiot. The blond cleared her throat when everyone's attention turned on her, "What?"

"Why don't you go next?" Ray asked her, apparently done tormenting Kenny. Maaya was giggling to herself, not quite as outgoing as Tsume to openly laugh at her older cousin.

"Eh, ok. I'm Inuzuka Tsume, named after my grandmother. I use a lot of my dad's clan techniques and spend most of my time in Suna. I'm a chunin, and fifteen," Tsume told her, and then laughing slightly she added, "Grumpy pants here is seventeen."

Kenny began glaring at his cousin menacingly, to which she shrugged and return it with a smirk. Ray looked back and forth before deciding on a course of action. Pointing a finger accusingly at Kenny she spoke, "Look here South Park, according to Comedy Central you get yourself kill in almost every episode. Therefore, I dub ye unable to make decisions due to past bad judgements!"

All three Suna ninjas looked at Ray with a confused expression, Maaya was the one to ask, "What's comedy central and south park?"

Ray shook her head and leaned back, "South Park is a show, on the Comedy Central channel."

"Oh…" the three spoke as one, then Tsume added, "You watch too much television."

"Indeed…" Ray nodded eerily, agreeing with the sand nin.

"And that's the show!" Maaya jumped up center stage, waving at the cameras as the audience clapped.

As the lights dimmed an angry yell of "That's my line!" was followed by the sounds of a scuffle and a dog barking.

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Review?

Note: I don't actually watch South Park, but I have heard of that continual joke, so yeah... Don't ask me what its about.


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